I have discovered that life doesn't actually knock you down. It does, however, provide you with many opportunities to evaluate your standing in life: what you stand on, what you stand for, how you stand within yourself and for yourself. When your standing is weak, you don't get knocked down. You fall down. You trip over the fallacies and fantasies that you have created or inherited.

You slip on your dysfunctional puzzle pieces and your distorted sense of self. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you fall when no one is looking, so you can limp away and lick your wounds privately.

More often than not, though, you fall in front of other people, and your dress flies up over your head, exposing your ripped panties to the spectators who are doing their best not to laugh at you. Those who do not laugh, but rush to help you up, often have no idea that your ego is more bruised than your knees.

As the result of my public fall from television, I discovered that what I was standing on was quicksand. Thank goodness there were two things I could grab on to and pull myself out of the pit.

The first thing I grabbed on to was my unequivocal desire to serve God. The second thing was the love and support of the women in the community in which and through which I served God.

Lydia ran my household. Almasi, Helen, and Deanna kept my business and ministry afloat. Yawfah, Rene, and Vivian kept reminding me that my daughter Gemmia's transition, the dissolution of my marriage, and the shift in my career were not my fault. Shaheerah and Raina told me over and over again that there was something extraordinary that I was being prepared for, and the only thing required of me was to keep my heart open and my mind at peace.

All I was experiencing was teaching me to become fully reliant on my inner authority, the power of God within me. It was a hard pill to swallow. Did my daughter need to die in order for me to become a better person? Did my husband need to reject me and dishonor our commitment so that I could have a greater purpose in life? Wrong questions! The greater, grander, deeper inquires I needed to make of myself were: What am I being asked to practice? What character values am I being asked to embody? What service can I offer the world as a result of the lessons I am learning?

Rev. Iyanla Vanzant is an internationally renowned inspirational speaker, the founder and Executive Director of the Inner Visions Spiritual Life Maintenance Network. Visit www.InnerVisionsWorldWide.com.